[Wen Ye] Hell changes

Chapter 18 Happy Breakup

Mission failed.There was no news from Oda Sakunosuke after that, and Akutagawa could only go back with grief and indignation.When he went to report to Mori Ogai afterwards, Mori Ogai sighed in disappointment, but when Akutagawa thought he was going to blame himself, he didn't say a word, just let Akutagawa take a good rest, and Akutagawa could only retreat in embarrassment.This matter is not happy for everyone.Including Chuya in the Central Plains, Akutagawa has never broken the cold war with him.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke thought that the cold war with Nakahara Chuya was going to end, but Mori Ogai suddenly asked the two of them to go on a business trip together. According to Mori Ogai himself, the reason was to let Akutagawa relax and not stick to failure .Mori Ogai's words of concern were directly conveyed to Dazai Osamu.Osamu Dazai, who stayed by Akutagawa's side all the time, felt displeased, and later he heard that Akutagawa was going to leave with Nakahara Chuya, and he immediately became furious.His anger was visible to the naked eye.It was hard to believe that he, who had always used heartlessness to decorate himself, would show such obvious mood swings.

Osamu Dazai couldn't let go of this matter.He has done so many things and set up so many bureaus in Akutagawa's heart, but Mori Ogai can use his status as the leader to turn all his efforts into collapse, what is this?What good can Mori Ogai do to hinder him and Akutagawa like this?Why do you have to fight against him Dazai?

Osamu Dazai held back Akutagawa who was about to leave as soon as he received the order.

"Don't go."

"Mr. Dazai...I feel embarrassed when you do this."

"Then if I say, don't leave, is it my true wish?"

"You know, Mr. Mori is the boss of the two of us. Going against your wishes will make me feel very guilty, but it is disrespectful to go against Mr. Mori's words. I respect my profession."

"Is it just because of this reason?" Did the previous ones count for nothing?I thought those things could be consolidated until the end, but in the face of a sudden order, are they so fragile and false?No... In fact, he already knew that these were all false.Akutagawa's obedience to him was false, and Akutagawa's acquiescence to him was also false, he was the one who pretended to be deaf and dumb, but he didn't expect that this falsehood would be exposed so quickly and neatly, without any warning or reason.

"What is Mr. Dazai upset about?" Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked at him with a look that did not understand the stranger, "You also have something to do, don't you? We each have our responsibilities."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke frowned, glanced at him from a sideways angle, and then walked away at a leisurely pace.Osamu Dazai only felt a figure in a long black suit drifting past his blurred vision.

He knew that it was Akutagawa who left in front of him.Because he was wearing the black coat he gave him, Akutagawa's entire figure looked even darker and slender.The silhouette of the figure was soft and beautiful, receiving the dim light from the ceiling, creating bright purple reflections, flowing along the lines of the clothes to the end.Akutagawa's shaved shoulders and neck, against the reflection of the thin placket, seemed to bloom clusters of diamond-like flowers.

He will not let it go like this, he will go to Mori Owai to make it clear, and let Mori Owai stop trying to get involved, which will only make him more and more disappointed with the port society and have no sense of belonging.If here he can only do back-and-forth tricks without gaining any benefits, then he might as well drag Akutagawa out of this organization now.

But the news that followed shattered his plans.Oda Sakunosuke sent him a message asking him to come to the scene of the disaster and had something to say to him.Hearing the sad and deep tone of Oda Sakunosuke, he had no choice but to put his personal relationship aside.

On the other side, Akutagawa Ryunosuke and Nakahara Chuya also joined.

The latter didn't dare to look directly into his eyes, pretended to look down at the phone screen, and said casually: "You were injured just now, leave the fighting to me, just watch from behind."

"Then what is the significance of participating in this mission? Senior."

"You have to ask the leader..."

Yes, what is the significance of Akutagawa's participation?And why do they have to be together?Could it be that Mori Ogai deliberately created an opportunity for the two of them to resolve the misunderstanding and resolve the Cold War period?Thinking of this, Zhongyuan Zhongye hesitated for a moment, and offered the invitation: "Then let's go to the tavern to sit down and have a good talk."

"Talk about what?"

"Talk about you and me."

"Um……"

Nakahara also thinks that he has done nothing wrong, and he has been encouraging Akutagawa to get out of the shadow of Osamu Dazai and learn to resist. He always feels that even if Akutagawa does not accept him in the end, he will not feel sorry for himself.It's just that after knowing that he had put in his sincerity and hard work, what he got was a shocking picture that didn't give him any room, which made him feel that his self-esteem and confidence had been trampled on like never before.

He didn't resent anyone, but felt self-disgusted and ashamed that he could be hurt to such an extent.He is no longer the sun who can always smile brightly in front of Akutagawa, he is now a stray dog ​​thrown into the mud.

"I don't drink alcohol." Akutagawa Ryunosuke sat across from him, and gently declined when he put the wine in front of him, "If you miss something due to alcohol, it may cause you trouble."

"Understood." Zhongyuan Zhong also smiled helplessly, and stretched his hand back.Looking at it from the side, the corners of his mouth are raised at a stiff angle, looking so sad, it seems that the recurring world ends here.

"I know." He repeated, "I know the fact that I'm not important to you."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke lowered his head and did not answer.The sparkling wine reflected the strange lights, taking off the glint in his intoxicated eyes and quietly hugging him into his arms, entwining and swimming in the wine glass.Behind the noisy and flashy scene of the wine shop.Empty expectations in full swing.Emotions out of nothing.And the heavy thoughts that came over the moment he opened his eyes.

"I thought that if I disappeared, there would be holes in your life, but it turns out that's not the case. You don't need me and you can come back safely." Those eyes that were slightly hazy due to alcohol accumulation looked at Akutagawa Ryuzhi Then, a heart like a lead-cast feather began to beat, light and deep, cold and hot.Before he could gather his mind and take a good look at Ryunosuke Akutagawa's face again, he felt dizzy as if he had drunk a hallucinogen, and a tsunami of pain and numbness swept over him, making him seem to be floating.

"You can be safe without me. You can find happiness without me. You can live without me."

"After you started to stay away, I went to you many times and was rejected. It's not that I don't care."

"Then why don't you agree?"

"Are you going to tell the truth? It might hurt."

"I've been listening."

"Okay." Akutagawa raised his head and smiled at him.

The affection in his heart collapsed and swelled like a rapid fermenting movement in an instant.

"Senior, we are not the same people. I have thought hard these days, and because of your indifference and avoidance, I have calmed down and reflected a lot. The previous enthusiasm has also disappeared during this period of time."

"The enthusiasm is gone? Is it the enthusiasm for me? It can disappear after just a week or two? I don't believe it..."

"That's the truth." Akutagawa Ryunosuke curled the corners of his lips dumbfounded.Ju Hui is deeply positioned on the edge of his silhouette through the angle of backlight, and his smile bursts out with sympathetic brilliance.

"Besides, I don't agree with you in terms of thought and style... We are taking two completely different paths."

"When did you find out that we are not like-minded?"

"It started when Mr. Dazai stopped us."

"He threatened you to leave me?"

"Please don't misunderstand me like this. Mr. Dazai's actions made me very sad. After the chill passed, I also completely calmed down. I calmly thought about these emotions, and finally found that we can't last long."

"I never thought of this, really, Akutagawa, this is something I couldn't think of..."

If Osamu Dazai never showed up, could he and Akutagawa have avoided this situation?If Osamu Dazai had never existed, wouldn't he and Akutagawa have struggled because of this sudden and extremely tough embarrassment, unable to continue to develop?Zhong Yuanzhong also held his forehead and smiled wryly, and let out a voice similar to sobs, which made people feel a little drunk.

"Just a little bit. Just a little bit, you promised me."

"Actually, it's a lot worse." Akutagawa also lowered his head, but didn't raise it again.

"A lot." He imitated, staring at the layer of wine at the bottom of the glass, "Black eyes...my little black eyes...you came from the slums, right?"

"Yes."

"I am also from the slums. There is not much age difference between us, and the time between joining the port mafia is not too far apart. It stands to reason that we should have met in the slums long ago. Why didn't we meet before that?" Met? Why not? If I pay more attention, maybe I can find you, and I can hold you before Dazai Osamu. But I didn't."

"It's not your fault, senior. You're drunk."

"It's my fault. It was possible, but I didn't do it. It was supposed to, but I let it slip away. This is my fault."

"This is beyond your control, senior, it is impossible to go back in time."

Neither of them spoke any more.

At this time, in the Central Plains, a ray of light like night lightning flashed across the rippling liquid surface, almost illuminating the entire world at that moment.After that moment of bright light, it seemed as if fireflies were floating in his gradually blurred vision.Among the fireflies, he saw his hometown in a slum in ruins, his former partners, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, and himself who used to know nothing.

The wide and deep water of the cup held the flash motionless, and he saw in it the moaning of time.If a huge lightning strike strikes at this time, then the flickering fire in this hut will illuminate everything around.It was like the smile that lit up his life when he saw Ryunosuke Akutagawa for the first time.

"I will respect you as before, senior."

"What can you get?"

"My respect for you will never fade away."

"Okay, but I have feelings for you that you are not a colleague, you know, little black eye, you clearly know it, but..."

"I have a bad reputation, everyone hates me, and you are a beloved cadre, everyone looks up to your virtues and achievements. The masses will not allow you to be with someone like me. The masses think I am unworthy. "

"Then destroy the masses..."

Nakahara Chuya stopped in time before he could fully express his words.Not to mention Ryunosuke Akutagawa, even he himself was surprised that he would say such a thing, and just thinking about it is enough to make people linger in shock.He would indeed beat people, and he would say that so and so would die, but he never really beat through the hearts of innocent people.He could push everyone to the ground without supernatural powers, but he hadn't done this before.So when these words came out of his mouth, both he and Akutagawa were stunned.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked at him in surprise, with a sense of awe in his eyes.

"Senior, how can you say such a thing? The masses may not be wise or rational, but they are definitely kind, and they are not wrong."

"I'm sorry, talk nonsense when I'm drunk." He lowered his head decadently, his voice hoarse, "I see you being hurt by the masses every day. You have done nothing wrong, but you will be sanctioned by the masses. I just hope None of the blunders and snags, just hope you don't get hurt."

But what you just said has already hurt me.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke did not say this sentence, but it is obvious that both he and Nakahara Chuya have understood the facts presented by this sentence.

Akutagawa fell into a kind of introspective review.

Could it be that there is really almost no boundary between good and evil, and love and hate, life and death are also synonyms?Can there really be a completely innocent person in the world?Those who say they love him will kill him one day because he accidentally said the wrong thing.Thinking of this, he felt extremely disappointed for the first time.He feels that everything is meaningless, everything has no credibility, everything will be reduced to nothing in an instant.Including the Central Plains.

"I'm sorry." Nakahara Chuya repeated these words to Akutagawa Ryunosuke in every corner of his heart, mind, and soul.

He repeatedly tried to get Akutagawa Ryunosuke's forgiveness, and repeatedly kissed the corners of the other's beautiful eyes that revealed a sacred temperament.All these strong feelings, sad confession and unreasonable loyalty will be hidden in every seemingly inadvertent and helpless eyes in the Central Plains, and Ryunosuke Akutagawa himself will only be able to understand The shallowest helplessness and exhaustion in those eyes cannot read the cruel cause and reason implied in it.This cause and reason is the sentence Nakahara wanted to say to Akutagawa Ryunosuke: I love you.

Before it even started, it has already been declared terminated, leaving a flash of Yongzhi.It is impossible to know each other without something that can stand scrutiny, and only the lovesickness that can be said here is left.Haven't taken back the infatuated amazement, haven't tried whether this feeling can stand the test, haven't started love coaxing.There is no lightning, no missing, and we have not yet started to hate each other.Looking back, it was the first time we met, and it was all about love, and it was just about courtesy.

"It's getting late, let's talk about it here." Ryunosuke Akutagawa sat up and walked out the door.

As soon as he took a step, Zhong Yuanzhong suddenly woke up and shouted "wait a minute".

Akutagawa Ryunosuke's footsteps paused for a moment, but he still chose to move on.

Suddenly, when he took the next step, he felt a burst of dizziness and pain, and suddenly felt weakness in his limbs, unable to stabilize his body.

Central Plains also found his abnormality.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke wanted to say "I'm fine", but he was too dizzy to speak, and could only hum hoarsely.He felt as if he was suddenly pushed down from the top of a high tower to the Nine Hells. He didn't even have time to call out, a layer of cold sweat appeared on his forehead, and he couldn't even breathe normally. The excessive pain and difficulty in breathing made him unable to do anything. I can't think about it, I just feel black in front of my eyes.

"Senior?" Before he fainted, he vaguely saw Chuya Zhongyuan.

All the thoughts and thinking are together with the sweat, splashing and disappearing in the figure of Zhongya Zhongyuan, all the feelings are concentrated on the sadness and powerlessness of the last glance, and the body and limbs seem to be falling apart at this moment.

"Akutagawa, what's wrong with you? Why didn't you tell me, why didn't you tell me your physical condition? Why didn't you tell me anything? Akutagawa... I'll take you to the hospital..." Nakahara didn't stop After calling his name, he was so anxious that even the sound of calling was crying.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke's fair face was bloodless, just like Maugham's description, it looked so dead.

At that time, for some reason, Nakahara Chuya felt that Akutagawa Ryunosuke seemed to be leaving him forever.

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The author has something to say:

The masses may not be wise, they may not be rational, but they are absolutely good, and they are not wrong.

Will Akutagawa stick to this point of view until the end?