My wife is an immortal black snake.

Page 70

Because her phone didn't have any function for sending text messages. Strictly speaking, besides having the functions of a smartphone, the only contact on that suddenly appearing smartphone was Yang Hao, whose name was still listed on the marriage agency app. But Yang Hao was lying right behind her, his thing almost inside her, how could he possibly be using a phone to send her a text message?

So... the couple exchanged a glance, their minds working in perfect unison.

"I think it's similar to SMS advertising in Colombia... which is very common on intercity networks."

"Although the intercity network in our territory is not yet well-developed, and is limited to the transmission between administrative and military departments... it is not incomprehensible considering that it may be an urgent matter for a certain department."

This must be some kind of small advertisement—or something else.

Even small advertisements or broadcast announcements can be annoying if ignored. So, after moving his arms around Koschitch's petite body closer to the bedside table, Yang Hao, while still holding his beloved wife, reached for both of their phones.

Kosiche took the phone and plopped down. She looked dazed, but her hands didn't falter. She checked her phone, found it empty, and then chuckled mischievously, wondering if an ad from Colombia had been sent to Ursus.

"That can't be... I haven't received any signal from Colombia, how could this be..."

Yang Hao muttered something, completely bewildered. He gently placed the hand holding his phone on Koschche's chest, and then, in front of Koschche, he opened his own phone.

"See, I already said it, it's not Colombia—huh?"

The message displayed on Yang Hao's phone screen was neither a Colombian advertisement nor a broadcast from the Ursus Intercity Network.

In front of the inseparable couple, a message popped up on his phone—a message from a marriage agency app...

Kosiché's face instantly fell, darkening with worry. Yang Hao's face, meanwhile, broke out in a cold sweat, sweat pouring down his face—what was going on? Was it some kind of April Fool's joke?

This is a matter of life and death! Putting everything else aside, Yang Hao felt like his manhood was about to be snapped off... He cried out in agony and quickly explained to his wife that it really wasn't his fault!

“Um, Koschche—first of all, I have to assure you, while I do have a real fascination with flattery, I've never used this app before…since I got here…”

"...I believe you. And what I feel is a little off isn't what you might have done..."

Kosich's face fell as she reached for her husband's phone and opened the message.

...

Hello. I'm Ekaterina. Can we talk? About the "work relief" program.

The message was unremarkable; at first glance, it looked like a question from an ordinary stranger to an expert.

If the person asking the question hadn't been named Ekaterina, Koschke might not have reacted so strongly.

But the problem is—that person's name isn't just Ekaterina.

"...My dear husband, you have been targeted by the avatar of Ursus."

Kosicie smiled darkly, then squeezed her husband's lower abdomen hard a few times before looking at the man's name.

In the notes at the marriage agency, there is a person named Ekaterina.

He is the emperor of Ursus, the contemporary embodiment of Ursus, and the object of Koschei's long-standing annoyance.

And now they've come knocking on our door.

Chapter 154

...

4 month 20 day.

It has been almost 10 days since the Ursus Emperor contacted us via mobile phone.

Yang Hao felt as if he and his wife had entered a period of cold war. And how to put it? This so-called "cold war" actually seemed more like a one-sided conflict caused by Koschitch's belief that a "formidable enemy was at hand"... Their marital relationship hadn't been affected much; it's just that Koschitch was spending more of her free time on work—she seemed eager to use her political power to shut the emperor up, lest Yang Hao one day actually listen to the slander and decide to "go see the scenery at Saint-Germain-des-Prés."

Not only that, although Koschei was spending more time in her palace, she was also sleeping less. Those who know, know why she was staying in her bedroom instead of sleeping. Yang Hao was a little worried about whether her health would be affected... But seeing how much pressure Koschei was under and how she could only release it through sex, and considering her own explanation that "the heir has been chosen, there's no need to worry," Yang Hao only asked a few more questions before Koschei's impeccable explanation silenced him.

"I can't be slacking off while you're working hard, can I? Don't worry, I know my own body. Just be careful not to give His Majesty the Emperor any leverage."

"Haha... I'll be careful. Well then, remember to get plenty of rest."

Yang Hao patted his wife on the back of the shoulder. After she passionately asked for a kiss before work that morning, she turned and left the palace to go to the audience hall to continue her work.

It's worth mentioning here that Kosichelle didn't stop Yang Hao from communicating with the Ursus Emperor, Catherine. She understood that this wasn't something Yang Hao could decide: now that Catherine had figured out his true identity, it was best not to anger this Ursus avatar. If she were to send her guards to seize him, a mutually destructive outcome would be far too unpleasant.

Of course, Yang Hao had no idea what Kosiché meant by "mutually destructive." He simply sighed helplessly and decided—if he could avoid communication, he wouldn't communicate with the emperor. If communication was truly unavoidable, then it would be like now...

"...here we go again."

I just find a comfortable place to sit down, and while dealing with my work, I... muddle through.

......

10 a.m. on April 20th.

As Yang Hao sat on the bench in the courtyard, enjoying a massage from head maid Monica while looking at the various messages popping up on his phone with a troubled expression, he felt utterly overwhelmed.

"Hiss... Monica... Should I just leave her alone...?"

“My lord, he is still His Majesty, please…work harder.” Monica smiled bitterly, then massaged Yang Hao’s head with her hands. “Besides, you don’t have any work scheduled today, do you?”

"It's not that I don't have any plans... mainly I'm thinking about how to legally invite a large number of nobles from various territories over, and then carry out a plan to humiliate the nobles of the Nikolai Duchy..."

"I can't help you... but sir, since Her Majesty the Emperor has contacted you this time, why don't you ask for her opinion?"

"...Monica?"

"Hehe, please make the decision yourself."

After saying that, Monica continued to massage Yang Hao. Her massage skills were more advanced than Kosic's. If there was anything inappropriate about it, it was that Yang Hao still preferred to receive massages while lying down.

However, it was also quite comfortable. So, while Yang Hao unconsciously revealed an expression of "I'm totally thrilled," he began to read the message sent by Her Majesty Empress Catherine with a bitter expression.

...

It's not a big deal actually.

The court jesters and courtiers constantly disrupt my thinking, and not everyone possesses the corresponding abilities—even if I were to try out your "work relief" program in a certain territory, I would be very worried about whether the nobles there could handle it properly.

simply put.

All they do is complain!

Ursus's avatar seemed to regard Yang Hao as a rare person with whom she could freely communicate. She confided all her grievances and complaints that could never be discussed in court, never declared in public, and never even confided to her servants.

These words sent a chill down Yang Hao's spine. Not for any particular reason, but simply because if he were to publicly voice Catherine's complaints at this moment, it would severely damage the reputation and face of the Ursus Emperor—a lose-lose situation.

After all, outsiders would think: "Emperor Ursus confided so many unspeakable secrets to you, the husband of Duke Kosichear; your relationship must be more than just lovers. And yet you betrayed him? Are you even human?"

...Simply put, if Yang Hao were to betray them at this moment, he would be seen as a treacherous and inhuman person in the eyes of outsiders. Under normal circumstances, no one would be willing to sign any contracts in the future—unless he used the political points and influence of the Puppet Stage to force the other party to sign voluntarily.

The difficulty in signing contracts is one problem, but what's truly disgusting is...

From Kosiché's perspective, the situation was this: "His Majesty the Emperor was using some of his secrets to get closer to you and her, and now you've betrayed her, essentially confirming the relationship. But if you do that, our territory will basically be attacked by all sides, won't it?"

This is a major problem – it will be met with a united attack. Undoubtedly, in the current Ursus Empire, where various noble territories still hold the emperor in high regard, Yang Hao's act of betrayal is even more conspicuous and prominent than an Italian eating pineapple pizza in a restaurant – under the theory of "the nail that sticks out gets hammered down," the Dukedom of Koschche will become the target of a siege.

Even if those nobles harbored resentment over the emperor's whispers—but an emperor? They could simply replace him later. However, an opportunity where everyone shared a common interest in annexing a duchy might never come again...

"Ugh... This is a real headache..."

Sweating profusely, Yang Hao stared at his phone for a long while before stiffly typing out the following message:

You've worked very hard too. If possible, I would also like to have more capable people under your command.

He chose the tactic of deception, hoping only that His Majesty the Emperor would let him off the hook. He quickly thought, "This guy is so boring," and tossed his phone aside—please! Put your phone down already! Harassing the husband of your own noble subordinate is unacceptable from a moral, ethical, and even undignified standpoint with the Emperor!

Besides, you're not Margarita! I don't even know you that well...

...

Unfortunately, Yang Hao's attempts to deceive seemed to be of no use.

After all, she is the embodiment of Ursus. In this Ursus Empire, which is known for its aggressive and ruthless nature, it is only natural that the embodiment of Ursus is also an aggressive and carnivorous woman.

Under Yang Hao's cold, sweat-drenched gaze, the marriage agency's chat screen was completely flooded with messages from the Ursus Emperor. At first glance, her comments might not seem like a big deal, but upon closer examination, the combined implications of all her words slowly revealed a desire to devour people.

Yang Hao is now walking on thin ice. One wrong step, and he might be respectfully escorted by the Emperor's guards to Saint-Germain Castle to experience its culture, cuisine, and the pleasures of a villa—a trip that could last for years. Of course, this is just one possible outcome. The other consequences of a misstep would only be worse.

The worst-case scenario might be that the Duchy of Koschei would be abolished, and Yang Hao and Koschei would no longer need to consider fighting against Duke Nikolai; they could simply find a good place in Ursus to live in seclusion.

...

He sweated profusely and managed to send a few more perfunctory messages. Perhaps His Majesty was about to start working; in any case, before Yang Hao was on the verge of mental collapse, His Majesty let him off the hook for the time being, saying, "Let's talk again tonight."

Let's talk again tonight...

Do you even have to take up my and Kosic's rest time?

Yang Hao was filled with grief and indignation, and he truly harbored the desire to replace the Ursus Emperor.

...... ......

While Yang Hao was struggling to cope with the bombardment of text messages from the Emperor of Ursus, the esteemed Duke Koschei was also dealing with his work in a state of frustration.

Although she intended to get the emperor to give up her dark thoughts as soon as possible, Kosichelle also knew that he was the emperor of Ursus!

How could the Emperor of Ursus possibly relinquish control? No, it's more accurate to say that even if he did relinquish control, it would merely be a prelude to a direct plunder. Furthermore, Duke Kosichä, upon further reflection, realized that the only way he might be to dissuade the Emperor of Ursus from such thoughts was...

"...Heh, perhaps I'll have to join forces with a few dukes..."

Kosichrie has lived for over a thousand years, so she must have connections within the Ursus Empire.

It's nothing more than favors from a few army group generals, a few dukes, and some minor nobles and immortals.

If I use all of these things, I'll probably gain enough influence to force His Majesty the Emperor to give up this idea when the Imperial Diet holds its next public meeting.

But the Imperial Diet is, after all, a place for discussing important matters. Koschke needs to find some reasons, some allegorical events, to bring this matter into the open.

But what should we look for?

She was somewhat distressed and in a very bad mood. After seriously dealing with some work left behind by her husband—some political work closely related to his "work-for-relief" program—she sighed heavily and decided to take a break for the time being.

...

11:20pm.

Kosiche planned to go to the courtyard to check on her husband and have lunch with him to relax a bit.

But when Kosichrie came to the courtyard, she saw her husband sitting dejectedly on the bench, looking listless no matter how much Monica massaged him.

"Monica?"

"Ah, Lord Kosiché, good afternoon. Lord Yang Hao has just finished his... conversation with His Majesty. He's very tired and doesn't want to talk anymore."

"...I can still speak..."

Sitting back in his chair, gazing at the sky, Yang Hao let out a sound as faint as a salted fish. Seeing this, Kosiche knew her beloved husband was indeed tired. She smiled wryly, walked over, and sat down beside him affectionately. Then she gestured for Monica to go prepare lunch.

...

After Monica left, the couple sat on the bench, not uttering a single word for a long time.

Yang Hao was utterly exhausted as he looked at the newly popped-up event. That event had left him utterly despondent.

[Event: The Emperor of Ursus]

Tormented by clowns and jesters, the capable, ambitious, and charismatic Ursus Emperor is drawn to your abilities—she is attempting to invite you to her court for a "temporary visit," whether that "temporary" visit lasts a day or two or fifty years is another matter entirely.

You can try to refuse her, but you must understand that she is the Emperor of Ursus—strictly speaking, she has the power to forcibly "take" something away from her nobles... so please be careful in your daily interactions.

As for a way to quell the Ursus Emperor's desire for you? Yes, go there.

'This is torture...'

...Actually, it's not a big deal.

it means.

Yang Hao will likely have to endure the torment of that Ursus emperor for the next year or two.

Ah ha ha.

The torment of a year or two of text message bombardment, which I couldn't simply ignore... and I had to be extremely careful every time I replied, afraid she would just send her bodyguards to snatch me away...

You fucking... once I have soldiers and money, I'm absolutely going to—!!

I'll talk back to you fiercely!

Yang Hao let out a long, pent-up sigh. Just then, sitting beside him, Kosicie let out a heavy sigh.

"Honey... I think we should go on a date in a few days and relax for a bit."

"what...."

“If this continues, you will be dragged down by this psychological pressure.”

"...yes."