Girls' Frontline: My Apocalypse with Dolls

Page 448

Luo Fan did have this thought, but he was afraid—afraid that the girls would be hurt again. But now, it seemed there was nothing left to fear...

There's nothing to be afraid of... right?

"I see......"

He forced a bitter smile, seemingly to show the girls his understanding and determination. The girls smiled back, seemingly relieved that Luo Fan's inner turmoil had been resolved. At least after tonight, he could continue on the path he initially wanted to take and strive for his original goal.

However, Luo Fan could easily see what the girls' purpose was and what they were thinking.

Behind the weak and hypocritical smile lies endless sorrow and grief...

The girls said these things in the hope that they could cheer up, reassess the situation, make modifications to the original route that might have had errors, optimize it, and start again. But before that, the most important thing is not to give up and to keep their spirits up. This is the most crucial step.

But the dog just happened to say what Luo Fan had been wanting to do after leaving the quarantine zone...

I'm sorry, girls, I can feel your love, but perhaps we can never go back to the path we originally wanted to take...

The times have ruthlessly abandoned us; now, we must repay them with pain...

For Adeline's sake, and for all of us, what's needed now is more than just the destruction of Umbrella; that's far from enough...

My ultimate goal is to change the existing situation and make it the way I want it to be.

Indiscriminate killing may not be what you want to do, but now we have no choice but to do it. I will abandon my last line of defense so that we will never be hurt again, never be betrayed again. Only by putting ourselves above all else can we prevent such tragedies from happening again.

He smiled, a smile tinged with heartache, a smile that was also insincere. While thanking them for their love, he also silently said "I'm sorry" to everyone.

......

For us, for Adeline...

.

729 Speechless

After several hours of flight, the group finally arrived in New York. After landing in a suburb, they sent their coordinates to Williams and then waited for their rescuers to arrive.

A few minutes later, an untimely bus drove into the suburbs. After noticing Luo Fan and his group, it honked its horn to signal them. Luo Fan went over and found Hecate in the driver's seat.

Hecate had just raised her hand to greet him when she noticed the bloodstains on Lofan's chin that hadn't been cleaned up. She probably guessed what had happened, so she composed herself and said, "Good evening, Commander."

"...Where did you get this bus?"

"Hey, let's not ask these questions now, let's talk about it in the car."

"..."

Given Paradis's methods, it wouldn't be surprising if he got his hands on something. Luo Fan stopped asking questions and led the girls onto the bus. They each found a seat and sat down. Luo Fan continued to sit at the front, while the already exhausted Xianghe leaned against Luo Fan's shoulder and lay down.

"Where do you plan to go first, Commander?"

The bus didn't start immediately. Hecate looked at Lofan's battered face in the rearview mirror, her feelings complicated.

This seems like a very interesting question: which comes first, the injury, official business, or... personal matters?

He glanced sideways, using his disheveled bangs to obscure his vision, and observed the girls' reactions. After a moment...

"Let's...go home first..."

"oh, I understand now."

Putting aside her usual humor when interacting with her teammates, Hecate became unusually quiet and acted like a close friend.

The bus started moving, returning to the bustling city center, passing through Times Square, crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, and taking in the hustle and bustle of New York. This ordinary and repetitive life seemed so different from theirs. Luo Fan once again experienced what it meant to feel like he was in another world. He had been in the quarantine zone for too long and felt as if he had become disconnected from modern life.

SAT8 was featured on the LED screen in Times Square, Cyber ​​Media merchandise was sold throughout the streets and alleys, and Gray Biotechnology could display the headline "The Choice of the Times" in various advertising spaces. Months passed, and it seemed that many things had happened that they were unaware of...

It wasn't until the bus entered the back alley and Hecate's soft reminder that Lovan was brought back to reality.

"Commander, we've arrived."

"...!"

He looked up and saw the back alley entrance facing the back door, a place he knew all too well. Unlike the glamorous facade of the bar, this place had dealt with too much filth and turbidity, just like their long-standing experience. It had cultivated a glorious and righteous image, but behind the scenes, it was a place that couldn't stand the light of day. That boundless darkness now terrified Luo Fan. How ironic.

The thought of going home came to him subconsciously, but when he arrived, he realized that he had not really thought about how he should go home, how he should face Yingque, or how he should explain everything that had happened to the other residents of the bar.

"...Let's go home."

They'll take it one step at a time, just like they always have. No matter what, they'll go home first. Only when they get back here can they truly settle down.

After walking along that dark alley with trash cans, we arrived at the back door. There was no noise inside; it was rest time, and they were all asleep, which was probably a good thing, as no one would notice them.

【Click】

A sense of trepidation arose along with the opening of the back door, but he still walked in with his mind blank. It was brighter than he had imagined. Had someone forgotten to turn off the lights? Why was the hallway still lit?

"Eh...?"

The girl's low, mellow voice, tinged with confusion, startled Luo Fan. He had never expected her to be here. Even at this hour, she hadn't rested and was still sitting on a bar chair with Juno, a member of the Shrike.

Her eyes held a hint of curiosity and surprise, but more so a delightful surprise. However, this quickly turned into worry. Of course, she was worried, given her disheveled state.

"Well...!"

"Be careful, 12..."

AK12 lost her footing when entering the room and tripped on the threshold, losing a leg that made her movement very difficult. Her vision module was also severely affected, and after long-term high-intensity operation, it was close to overload.

"Luo Fan?!"

Yingque also noticed the girls' predicament, but Luo Fan's current appearance was more worrying. That was her lover. He was just on a business trip. How could he be injured like this? What happened?

"What's wrong? What happened? Were you attacked? Is things too chaotic in White Eagle lately?"

She quickly stood up from the chair, leaned closer, and brushed aside Luo Fan's bangs with her hand. His forehead and cheeks were covered in wounds, and the blood flowing from his mouth had dried on his chin. It was clear that he hadn't had time to treat them at all. Could something have happened that prevented him from treating his wounds in time?

Luo Fan looked at the girl in front of him with a calm gaze. He had so much to say, so much resentment and grievance to vent, but he also knew that this was not a burden she should bear. She should not, and could not, know. If she knew, things might only get worse.

Besides, she no longer had the energy to weave one sweet lie after another...

"Yingque..." he began, his voice heavy with a hushed tone that seemed to come out only after decades, causing Yingque's heart to tighten. "I...I'm very tired. Can we talk later? I need...to rest for a while..."

"Why? But... but..."

But I've been worried about you for months...

Is there something you can't say even when you meet...?

She wanted to question him, to get to the bottom of things, but when she saw the scars on his face and the exhaustion and pain on the girls' faces, she felt a pang of heartache, a pain that seemed to bleed. In an instant, all her doubts and anxieties vanished, leaving only understanding and concern.

"...I understand, but if anything happens...you absolutely must tell me..."

"...I...will..."

"...Then I'll go back to my room first."

"Um......"

Yingque turned around and headed for the stairs. Juno put her arm around her shoulder, gave Luo Fan a wink, and then they left together.

"..."

Let's just deal with it like this for now.

"Everyone, go and rest for a while. Tomorrow, we'll go find Pascal to fix it."

After saying that, Luo Fan walked up the stairs without looking back, but his destination was not his room, where Ying Que was waiting for him.

His destination was the third floor, the room Adeline had mentioned...

730 Heart-wrenching Pain

P.S.: For the following text, I suggest searching for the podcast "CounterSide OST [Unoffcial]" on NetEase Cloud Music. You can find or search for "EP-7 The Unsaid Thing" there for a better reading experience (try to recapture the feeling of hitting the right music beats to reach an emotional climax).

On the third floor, in Adeline's room, she seemed to have never been there before. As Adeline thought, she was easily forgotten and ignored. As an ordinary Black Neto, she could hardly leave a deep impression on others. Even the respect she received in Paradis was only because of the name "Adeline" that she had given her.

The Nieto are particularly pure in their emotions, which is due to the religious elements in them. In addition to love, they also have reverence for themselves. They revere themselves, and therefore also revere Adeline. As a result, Adeline is alienated and can only be closest to herself.

Stepping into the room, aside from some black furniture, a simple desk and bookshelf, there were no other decorations. It seemed somewhat out of place for a young girl. Even the Rebellious Squad would leave behind some potted plants or colorful fabrics. Adeline's room looked more like... a long-abandoned, empty boudoir...

The air was filled with a clean smell, and the hygiene was excellent, after all, it was her. Only she would make her room like this. It seemed like an advantage, but it was actually her biggest drawback. She couldn't completely consider this room as part of herself.

Luo Fan took out the ring finger, slowly walked into the room, and locked the door. He didn't want to be disturbed at this time; he hoped that after the disaster, he could truly calm down and look at the "will" the girl had left him.

It's black, and the word "will" is written on it...

"...!"

The entire bookshelf was filled with black books, without any layout or titles, and all bound by hand. She did all of these herself...?

Luo Fan was taken aback, then casually picked up a book from the shelf. It had no title, but he still flipped through it out of curiosity...

"I had just arrived when the commander hugged me and said he would give me a place like 'home'. Everyone else looked at me without reacting."

"The commander appreciates my abilities because of my powerful performance and strength; I will be a handy weapon."

"Perhaps... my sisters will stop bullying me because of this, or they'll isolate me even more... It's okay, as long as the Commander is satisfied."

"My other comrades also appreciated my abilities. It was the first time I had ever received a response other than the next instruction and humiliation after completing a mission."

"Sister Grey cares about me a lot, ever since Sister Morito came. She seems to be different from the other sisters. She tries to care for me and love me. Why is that? Is it because of the name Adeline, or is Sister Grey also trying to be herself again?"

“Miss Pascal gave me a strange feeling, I don’t know how to describe it, I seem to have forgotten that word... it seems to have been deleted by Paradis before. Anyway, I am very grateful to Miss Pascal for taking care of me.”

“The commander told me… not to care what people thought of me, because they were already struggling to survive. But… Commander, wasn’t it difficult for you too? How much more noble was their suffering than yours? What is our suffering? Why did the commander care about the suffering of others back then? Because he loved us… He loved me, and this ring is the reason… From then on, I never let Miss Pascal maintain my ring finger again.”

......

Are these things from the past?

Luo Fan put them back on the bookshelf and began to flip through them one by one. Sure enough, they were all similar to the first book, containing snippets of the past. She had recorded them in a very clumsy and monotonous way, bound them by hand, and kept them within her reach in a more secure way than Yun Tu.

"what......"

There was so much familiar content, some of which Luo Fan himself hadn't even noticed...

"The Commander kissed AK12 like family, but he's never kissed me. Is it because my hair isn't white enough?"

"The noise when Sister 45 and the Commander are having sex is loud, but it's also very exciting because I've never experienced it before. I think there must be a reason why I had to replace all the parts of my mechanical exoskeleton when I came into this world. When will I be able to give meaning to those reasons?"

"Is the Commander taking care of me like this because he pities me? He has never said the word 'love' to me. Love doesn't have to be spoken to count, does it? I'm not a child anymore. I'm Nieto. I know that orders don't necessarily have to be spoken by my older sister. Sometimes I have to understand them myself, otherwise I'll get an electric shock... I know that the Commander doesn't need to say it, and he won't shock me. That's enough. And there's the ring. He must love me."

How could I not love her? But I never said it to her in person. What a pity! I had so many opportunities to express it to her directly, so that she wouldn't have to worry about it.

What a pity, what a pity! Why, why did I miss so many details? Why didn't I pay more attention to this Nieto girl back then? She was quiet and expressionless, but that didn't mean she wasn't thinking. How could I not even see that?

"...I...I...I'm sorry..."

With trembling hands, I put the book back in its original place. After searching for a while, I finally found the black book with the title "The Will" in some inconspicuous corner.

And, accompanied by a "click," but Luo Fan didn't notice, having already begun reading...

"This book was written because I may be too insignificant, too small, so that the Commander might not even notice me... But I hope I can repay the meaning this ring has given me, and I hope the Commander will remember me because of this ring, so I wrote these things... Commander, I don't know how to make a better oath, but I hope I can live up to your ring, just like my other comrades, I will be the first to stand in front of you, even if it means death."

......

"A long time has passed, and I've learned some ways of speaking from my older sisters and companions. Uh... they say it's better to be more romantic, so I looked up some fairy tales and tried to find some imagery to reference. So, Commander... from now on, I'm willing to be the most inconspicuous knight behind you, silently protecting you, even if it means my death. Everything I do is to repay your ring. It is because of your love and recognition that there is Adeline today, and the name Adeline has been given meaning. In stories, knights always have to die before they are remembered by the princess, and only then will the princess shed tears for them. But I believe that the Commander will not be that kind of princess, after all, we're not even the same gender... You don't need to shed tears for me, you just need to remember Adeline."

......

Thousands of words, countless versions—Adeline left countless versions of her will, each reflecting the evolution of her emotions and thought processes over different periods, expressing her latest thoughts to herself. Her writing improved, though still somewhat clumsy, but the emotion remained unchanged. She was simply trying her best to prove that she loved herself, that she longed to be loved, and that she wanted to be remembered when she died—only then would the name Adeline have meaning...

"No...no...how could that be...?"

Luo Fan thought he could calm down and regain his composure after being comforted by the girls, but when he saw these words, he still couldn't control his emotions. This self-blame was about to crush him completely. He never thought that there would be such a girl watching over him from the corner. Her identity as a sniper was equally effective in war and life. Hiding, watching, and suppressing her emotions, she was so oblivious to him that he didn't even notice her.

"sorry......"

He sat on the ground, lost in thought, reading the contents of the book, covering his eyes, trying his best to control his emotions, not wanting the girls to notice his unusual behavior.

Can......

When reading the next paragraph...

"When you read this far, it will be approximately 7 minutes and 23 seconds..."

In an instant, flames erupted from the bookshelf, spreading almost completely without any spread, leaving no room to move.

"...?"

He stood there, stunned, not knowing what had happened, his eyes only glancing instinctively at the pages of the book, at the content that followed...

"The bookshelf has a built-in ignition device that will activate 7 minutes and 23 seconds after I deactivate the safety mechanism and you take out the will. At that time, the entire bookshelf will burn, clearing away all the excess parts... After much thought, I realized that romantic words don't suit me. I still prefer to watch you silently from behind like this, because... I know that standing behind you like this is the only way I can make you notice me, which is really asking too much. But I hope that until this final moment, you will still remember my name, Adeline... Let those dull and monotonous memories be burned away by the fire. You don't need these memories to affect your mood for the rest of your life. I just hope that when you are old and frail, lying in your rocking chair, you can still remember this name..."

"I love you, Commander. Please forgive me for not using honorifics this time. This is the most satisfying version of my many wills. Writing these was not easy for someone as foolish as me. Let it remain as a memento..."

However, the will had already fallen to the ground. The man who had been sitting on the ground frantically stood up and tried to save the books on the bookshelf, but the flames were still burning. Even if he took the books out, the flames continued to erode them mercilessly. Even if he stepped on them, only a few ashes remained, just like the ending the girl hoped to leave for these memories.