A century of poverty

Chapter 33 Hope!

Since last autumn, my father's health has not been very good. He is often reluctant to move and is often idle. I thought it was because he was overworked from burning lime kilns and building houses.

To cheer up Dad, all Mom could do was prepare special meals for him to enjoy. She thought that with less work in winter, he would recover after a rest, but he was still listless in the spring. After a whole winter without any income, and having borrowed money to treat her second sister's eyes, she really didn't want to go hungry again, so she stayed home to recuperate.

Since no one in the mutual aid group could go to work, the mother insisted on going to work. When she got home, she would cook and eat, and after eating, she would turn on the lamp and sew a few rows of shoe soles.

I can't go to work on cloudy or rainy days, but I still have to make clothes for my family.

Back then, there was no ready-made rice or flour for cooking; the grains used in cooking were all milled out by a millstone, which was a time-consuming and laborious task.

My mother would often get up before dawn to go to the millstone, grind out the day's worth of grain, and then go home to cook.

She also needed to get some good food for her father, including some milk. She and the children ate a simple meal of dark-colored vegetables to fill their stomachs.

When she went to work on the ground, while others could just carry a shovel and a pickaxe, she also had to carry a basket. While others rested, she would gather a basket of firewood to fill the stove pit.

She said, "There must be food both on and under the pot to keep the fire burning!"

She had no time to do the small chores like sweeping the floor and wiping the cabinets; those were her older sisters' jobs.

Grandma also had to wrap the cotton from the spinning mill camp.

One morning, Mom had just finished grinding grain and returned to start cooking when she heard Aunt Gao Shuzhi calling from over the courtyard wall, "Brother! Brother! Are you up yet?"

Mom ran to the front door: "Auntie, what's up?"

Auntie: "Jinzi is sick. It's been several days. The nights are really eerie. My mother-in-law said she'll call my brother and her uncle and take the children to Lulong to see a doctor today."

"Oh, your brother isn't feeling well either. Let me ask him if he can go?"

Mom turned and went inside.

Her call woke Grandma and Dad on the kang (a heated brick bed), and they understood what was going on. Mom came in and explained, and Grandma asked Dad, "Can you go?"

Father: "You have to go, even if you can't! Tongtou isn't home; if this child is mistreated, we'll regret it for the rest of our lives!"

As he spoke, Father got up and put on his clothes.

Mom came out and told the aunt, "Your brother will be there in a bit."

Auntie: "Call your brother over for breakfast!"

Mom: "No need, I'm cooking. I'll come over after I finish eating."

Auntie: "Oh right, brother, when you come over, you'll have to bring a donkey with you."

Father got up and went to the production team to borrow a familiar donkey, then led it to the west courtyard. As soon as they entered, Zhang Xigui, who was heading towards his sister-in-law's courtyard, saw his brother coming in from the east courtyard and greeted him, "Brother, you're here?"

Father replied, "I'm coming."

Zhang Xigui: "You're not comfortable there yet, and I'm troubling you. My sister-in-law and my mother said they weren't comfortable with me going by myself, so they insisted on asking you to come along."

Father: "It's alright. Your sister-in-law wouldn't have called me over unless it was absolutely necessary."

As they talked, they arrived at Jinzi's house. Her father was at the door leading the donkey. Her uncle went inside, and her aunt quickly brought out a blanket and draped it over the donkey's back. Her uncle picked up Jinzi, who was lying there with her head down and eyes closed, clearly quite ill. He placed her on the donkey's back, supporting her with his hands, while her father led the donkey north out of the village, heading north along the main road.

Third Grandma and Auntie stood at the gate, watching until they were out of sight before going back inside.

Upon arriving at Lulong Hospital, after the examination, the child was admitted to the hospital. After completing the formalities and making all the arrangements, it was already late afternoon. Her uncle could stay behind to take care of her.

Dad rode the donkey back, returned it to the village, tied it up, and then went to Aunt's courtyard to tell her about Jinzi's situation. Back home, he lay down on his kang (heated brick bed) to rest.

When Mom came home from work, she went to the second gate, put down her basket and rake, and placed her shovel and pickaxe under the eaves. Without pausing for breath, she picked up the ash rake, reached into the stove pit, used a broken winnowing basket to catch the ashes, and poured them into the pigsty to collect manure. Back home, she put firewood in the winnowing basket, carried it to the stove, lit it, and added water to the pot. Just as she was about to get up to wash the pot, Dad got up from the kang (heated brick bed), went to the passageway, picked up a small pickaxe handle, and started hitting Mom.

Caught completely off guard, the mother was struck by the pickaxe handle, swayed twice, and fell beside the stove, hitting her forehead on the corner of the stove, causing blood to flow.

Just then, my eldest sister and second sister returned from outside. They hadn't heard what the adults were saying when they saw Father bring down the pickaxe handle, and Mother fell to the ground. The two sisters came in and saw Mother lying by the stove with her eyes closed. Terrified, they grabbed her shoulders and cried out, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Wake up!" Grandma got off the kang (heated brick bed), lifted Mother's head, and called, "Shuangxing's Mom, Shuangxing's Mom! Open your eyes and look!"

A moment later, with a soft "humph," Mom opened her eyes and saw her two older sisters crying their eyes out. The two children were terrified. She moved slightly and comforted them, "Mom's alright, don't be afraid. Come inside—Mom will cook for you." As she spoke, tears welled up in her eyes, and she continued cooking.

Grandma: "Burn some cotton, cover it with ashes, and press it on." Her reproachful tone told Mom, as she turned and sat down next to her son on the kang (heated brick bed). "Why did you hit her?"

"That good-for-nothing, he didn't even know the puppy was in the stove while he was shoveling ashes! And he still tried to light a fire, with the puppy whining right under my ear."

Mom overheard their conversation and realized why she had been beaten; a wave of bitterness washed over her. "I'm so busy all day, how could I have known the puppy was in the stove? If I had known, I wouldn't have lit the fire even if you asked me to!"

Even so, the burden on her shoulders remained undiminished. She continued to get up early, cook, and work as usual; at night, she would sew and mend under the dim light of a lamp.

She also harbored resentment towards her mother-in-law and husband for their heartlessness. From the time she entered the Zhang family at fifteen, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to describe her as eating pig and dog food and doing the work of an ox or a horse. No matter what, now that she had a daughter and a son, they still treated her like dirt; anyone would find it unbearable. Drinking braised water or hanging herself would be the end of it all. But looking at her ignorant children, she remembered being called a "troublesome girl" when she was a child. Absolutely not, she couldn't kill herself; she had to live no matter what.

Thinking about her mother-in-law, she realized how difficult it had been for her too. Widowed at twenty-seven, she endured hardship until her son married. Her husband, like herself, had lost his father at a young age, the burden of life falling on his shoulders prematurely. He too had a difficult life, and he was ill. Thinking it over, she couldn't blame anyone for this miserable existence. She often heard people say, "Life and death are predestined, wealth and honor are determined by fate." What was this "fate" that treated her like this? If she ever saw this "fate" again, she would tear it in two! She gritted her teeth inwardly.

A cotton ball covered his forehead with dust, and tears and snot soaked his eyes and nose.

Saddened, she mechanically led the old ox that plowed the field...

On the sweet potato kang (heated brick bed), the lush green seedlings were growing vigorously, and she was spraying water on them with a watering can.

The vines have grown high enough to reach the sides of the kang (heated brick bed), it's time to plant sweet potatoes. Today we're pulling up the vines. My aunt and mother are on the kang, pulling up the vines along the sides. A large plank is laid across the sweet potato kang, and the two of them sit on it, leaning forward, pulling up the vines with their right hands and passing them to their left, one by one, pulling up the big ones and leaving the small ones, talking as they pull.

Auntie: "Sister-in-law, what happened to that cut on your forehead the other day?"

Mother: "Sigh—I'm embarrassed to even talk about it. When others ask me, I always say I bumped into something because I wasn't careful. But since you asked, my sister and I will tell you." With tears in her eyes, Mother recounted what happened that day.

Auntie: "What are you so ashamed of? Everyone in the village knows that my second aunt and brother don't treat you well. Even if you don't say anything, people can guess what's going on. But don't be too sad, the children are all grown up, things will get better."

Mother: "It's hard to say. What will the children be like when they grow up? Their father can glare at them and they'll be scared out of their wits."

The older woman said, "Don't be afraid. Male chauvinism is an old-fashioned idea from the old society, and it's no longer fashionable. This is a new society now. The central government held a major meeting, and Chairman Mao spoke about gender equality, giving women and children rights."

Mom: "Really?"

The aunt said, "Yes! Go to the market, go to the city and see. Women can do everything, they can even become officials." After a moment of silence, the aunt continued, "My brother may not treat you well at home, but outside everyone says he's capable! Land reform, and these past few years, look how well he's made our village. Everyone admires him."

Mom: "Him? Isn't Zhang Mingzhi the village chief now?"

The aunt said, "Even though Zhang Mingzhi is the village chief, don't people consult him about anything? Everyone in the village says Zhang Xiwang is a strategist, and Zhang Mingzhi listens to him in everything. When you were building your house, you only needed to burn lime in the kiln for one spring to rebuild it. Don't be sad or worried; your future will be bright."

After hearing what the aunt said, Mom felt relieved; there was still hope for the future.